“Madam, please!” the Old Codger said as he tried to wriggle free, but she only tightened her grip as they plummeted earthwards again. The ride continued up and down and round corners but still the woman would not let go and kept up the screaming which was now even louder with her mouth next to his ear.

Eventually the ride slowed to a halt back where it started and the safety bars lifted to release them. The woman finally released the Old Codger from her vice like grip and he could straighten his crooked neck and rub the lump on his head.

He repacked the contents of his bag which he found scattered round the car and stumbled out. The woman was waiting for him with a wild fire in her eyes and she said to him with deep satisfaction in her voice, “that was fantastic, let’s do it again”. The Old Codger could think of nothing more dreadful and ran off as fast as his old legs would carry him with the woman chasing after him, clattering along on her high heels and shouting “stop, wait, I want another ride”.

Everyone who saw it thought it hilarious, an old tramp with wild hair being chased by a very prim woman with hardly a hair out of place. The Old Codger kept running until he was out of the fairground and lost in the backstreets of the town. He looked round fearful that the woman was still following him but she was not to be seen.

He tried to find his way back to the boarding house by keeping away from the bright lights along the front, in case he was seen, but the backstreets looked much the same and soon he was hopelessly lost. He was wondering how he could find his way back when he heard a clip-clopping of heels. He looked around for somewhere to hide but there was only a low bush in the next garden so he dived into that. The clip-clopping of heels came closer then stopped.

The Old Codger had his face down in the soil under the bush not realising that his bottom was sticking up into the air.